Hey Rhino!  Free Movie Ideas!

Well, I thought I'd take mouse in hand and scrawl some thoughts 
about a possible idea for The Monkees Moovee.  The reason, or one 
of the other ideas, is if they put out one that blows, I'll have 
the satisfaction of saying, "Well, you should've listened!" 
(Unless of course they follow my suggestions and it blows anyway.  
Why do you think I don't use my "real" name here!?)

THE TRAILER

Movie trailers give away way too much today.  Trailers and TV 
ads, talk show clips, etc. are notorious for giving away plot 
points, tipping jokes and ruining surprises.

Here's my solution.  I'm presenting this before my film idea - as 
would be the case in "real life".

Black screen - Loud, quick drum roll (military style) plays as 
Distributor's logo comes on screen (Paramount or the like).  
Quickly fades out as echo dies off.

Flurry of quick, action oriented edits go by (no sign of the 
Monkees) Voice over (preferably James Earl Jones): "From another 
time comes an evil presence..." 

Black screen - Loud, quick drum roll plays as Producer's name 
comes on screen.  Quickly fades out as echo dies off.

Flurry of quick, action oriented edits go by (still no sign of 
the Monkees) Voice over: "A sinister being - bent on destroying 
the Earth..."  Shot of villain screaming maniacally and smashing 
something with fist: "I will have my REVENGE!!" 

Black screen - Loud, quick drum roll plays as Director's name 
comes on screen.  Quickly fades out as echo dies off.

Flurry of quick, action oriented edits go by (still no sign of 
the Monkees) Voice over: "And the only ones who can stop it... 
are out of the past..."

Black screen - Loud, quick drum roll plays again.  Then singing 
starts: "Here we come..." On "come" The Monkees logo zooms out of 
the darkness, with "Save The World" below it.  The Monkees theme 
plays, when drum part kicks in, fast editing also kicks in, this 
time with shots of the Monkees included, Monkee romps, concert 
shots, etc.  Theme is changed so ending is: "Some of you better 
get ready, our movie's comin' to your town!"  On final extended 
chords, obligatory credits and opening dates appear.


THE MOVIE:
The Monkees Save The World

Although some of this is pretty well hammered out, it's basically 
just a concept (I don't have enough time to type out a whole 
screenplay, fer cryin' out loud!)

There will be lots of cameos throughout.

Movie starts out EXACTLY as in Head, from the opening shot of the 
ribbon to where the Mayor is about to cut it.  The difference 
being that it has all been re-shot with new actors and is played 
up more.  Possibilities:  Steve Martin as the police chief 
(picture his impatience with the Mayor), James Earl Jones as the 
Mayor, etc.  Also, Police chief kicks mic stand around like James 
Brown instead of just rapping on it. Just as the Mayor is about 
to cut the ribbon, cut to a long shot of the bridge as it blows 
up and collapses.  Cut back to the soot-covered Mayor who throws 
the scissors to the ground and yells, "I quit!"

Movie theme starts (something that rocks, big time).  Credits are 
shown over other "terrorist" acts that are annoying, but cause no 
real harm - ice rinks melting and people are left knee deep in 
water, soft drink machines that squirt people in the face, guy 
surfing a mud-slide, someone opens a package from "Bowling ball 
of the month club" and the ball is a cube, etc., etc.

As theme fades and opening credits end, truck in from above to 
LAPD Headquarters.

Cross dissolve to interior where police are busily trying to keep 
up with ringing phones and complaints.  Various cameos in 
background (Adam West, Burt Ward, Russell Johnson, Bob Denver, 
other 60's icons).  The Chief of Detectives (maybe Tom Arnold) 
demands to know who is committing all of these acts.  He is 
approached by a uniformed cop who says he has a videotaped 
message from the terrorist (a cloaked figure hard to see):  

"I will exact my revenge upon the city for my imprisonment!  
Unless my demands are met, oooh are YOU gonna get it!"  

The chief asks who it is.  It turns out to be someone who calls 
himself "The Evil Wizard Glick".  Dead silence in the room for a 
second. Everyone just shrugs and mayhem returns to normal.  The 
chief inquires further, it turns out Glick was defeated 30 years 
ago and just got out of prison and is hopping mad.  The chief 
asks who captured him the first time, and an older cop (another 
cameo here) replies "The Monkees". "Monkeys?" asks the chief.  
"No. Monkees.  With two 'E's", says the cop. "They were a rock 
band who lived at the beach.  I think we have a file on them here 
somewhere."  Blows thick cloud of dust off of an old file 
cabinet. Rummages through the files for a moment.  The chief 
asks, "Where are they now?"

The older cop pulls out a folder with "Monkeys" on it.  "Y" has 
been crossed out and "E" scribbled next to it.  The cop pulls out 
60's B&W photos of each, one at a time and does a narrative over 
it.

Cop: "Davy Jones was the resident teen heart throb of the group.  
I would suppose he's probably a rich recluse by now.  Living on 
his own private tropical island with a bevy of beautiful 
babes..." Close up on palm leaves.  Move past to see it's just a 
potted plant in the interior of a massive office building.  Move 
past cubicles to a water cooler with three gorgeous women at it.  
Up walks Davy, kind of hunched over, dressed as the 
quintessential computer geek, complete with taped up glasses. In 
a whiny, grating voice he says, "Hello girlssss.  Wanna come over 
to my place and de-bug some code tonight?  Ewwwww....." (wiping 
his nose on his sleeve).  The women laugh at him and walk off.  
He shrugs and scuffles away.

Cop: "Micky Dolenz was the scatter brain of the group.  Probably 
wound up in the loony bin.  A totally irresponsible weight around 
the neck of society." Stark white interior of a Hospital.  Move 
down hallway through doors into an operating room.  Beeping of 
EKG in background, people in green garb milling about.  Far wall 
is covered with CAT scans of a brain.  Surgeon turns to face 
camera - it's Micky.  Micky:  "Are we ready to begin?"  Nurse: 
"Yes Doctor." Micky: "Sure beats playing drums..."

Cop: "Mike Nesmith was the quiet, reserved one of the group.  
Probably be impossible to find someone as unassuming as that.  
Would just vanish right into society without a trace." Extreme 
close up of mouth yelling, "I CAN'T HEEEEAAAARRRR YOU, 
MAGGOTS!!!!" Cut back to reveal that it's Mike the Drill 
Sergeant, putting a group of recruits through torturous obstacle 
courses and having them yell out a marching song which would be a 
reworked version of "Ditty Diego" that applies to boot camp.  
Mike's barking orders at them constantly as they go through an 
impossible and comical set of obstacles (abandoned cars, 
Christmas shoppers, etc.).

Cop: "Peter Tork was the idiot of the bunch.  It's amazing his 
brain could generate enough energy to keep him breathing.  
Probably living out on the streets somewhere." Cut to exterior of 
Harvard, MIT or similar.  Cross dissolve to interior of massive 
lecture hall.  Prof. Tork is lecturing on Quantum Mechanics 
effortlessly.  He comments that he's only filling in for Prof. 
Hawking and that he'll be back teaching his own Thermonuclear 
Dynamics classes next week.

Back in the police station, the chief orders a young woman 
detective (any suggestions?) to find The Monkees, and suggests to 
her to start at their old beach house.

Cut to interior of the TV beach house.  No furniture and there's 
dust everywhere.  There's a rattle of the door knob and the door 
explodes inward as the detective rides a tidal wave of newspapers 
through the doorway.  She mutters: "They could have at least 
canceled their subscriptions..."  Finds a piece of paper which 
says something about reporting to the "Fingerhead Military 
Academy".

Cut to exterior of Fingerhead Military Academy.  Troops marching 
about, etc. The detective goes to the main offices and asks to 
see the Commander (the secretary would be a cameo).  Walks into 
the office, the Commander turns around, and it's Bill Murray.  
(Insert hysterically funny dialog here) Points out window to Nez, 
who's still barking orders. The detective comes up to Mike and 
asks him: "Were you one of the Monkeys?" Mike answers: "No.  
Monkees.  With two 'E's."  

Cut back and forth between close ups of detective and Mike, who 
keeps bobbing up and down, in and out of the frame.  They discuss 
Glick and the whereabouts of the others.  Pull back to reveal 
Mike standing on the back of a private who is doing push-ups. 
Detective asks, "Isn't that tiring?"  Mike: "You're right.  
Corporal..." (steps down, motions off camera) "Take over here!"  
Abraham Benrubi (or similar) stomps in.  Camera follows Mike and 
the detective away as you hear a loud CRUNCH from off screen.  

Mike mentions he knows where Micky is,  and simply says, "Let's 
go."  They begin to walk out the front gate and the detective is 
puzzled.  She says, "You... you just can't leave!  You'll be 
AWOL!  They'll court martial you!"  Mike (shrugging): "It's only 
a movie." Cut to long shot of them walking away from the Academy 
which has lighting and camera crews, trailers, etc. all around.

Cut to operating room.  Close up on Micky as he's obviously 
concentrating on very delicate surgery.  Mike walks in with 
detective and says, "Hi Mick!" Micky is startled and jumps a 
little.  You hear "OW!" from the guy on the table.  EKG beeps 
wildly.  Micky: "I'm a little busy Mike..."  Mike explains about 
The Evil Wizard Glick and Micky says, "Okay.  Let's go."  Pulls 
off gloves and mask.  EKG beeps fast then goes flatline as they 
begin to walk out, much to the horrified detective's look of 
disbelief.  She says, "You.. you just can't leave!"  Micky: "Why 
not?"  Mike: "It's only a movie."  Cut to wide down shot of 
operating room set, cameras, "patient" sitting up in bed lighting 
a cigarette.  As they leave you hear Micky remark that he knows 
where Davy is.

Cut to interior of Davy's dressing room.  He's removing his 
glasses, nerd make up and wig (the joke's been tipped by now).  
Micky and Mike walk in, fill in Davy and they all walk towards 
the door.  They get to the detective, stop and look at her for a 
second, then they all turn to the camera and in unison say, 
"Well, it is only movie."  She shrugs and follows them out.

Cut to University we saw before.  Peter's wrapping up his lecture 
as the others walk in.  They fill him in.  Peter says, "Hey guys, 
I'm in the middle of teaching here."  Mike says, "C'mon Pete, 
it's only..."  Pull back to reveal it actually is a lecture hall.  
The five of them look around.  Close up on Mike) "...never mind."  
Pete tries to explain that his responsibilities are too much for 
him to go off on some adventure.  Mike and Micky look at each 
other, then grab Peter by the arms and drag him out backwards.  
He yells assignments to his students and also that he won't be 
able to have office hours next week.

>From this point on, the movie would be a combination of original 
scenes along with a series of parodies of other films from Die 
Hard (Micky swinging on a fire hose towards a window, but smacks 
flat against it and slides out of sight instead of breaking 
through) to Star Trek (with them as the Next Gen. crew on the 
bridge, falling back and forth as the camera shakes) and 
everything in between.  The TV series used to "switch realities" 
like this, as films like "Airplane" and "Hot Shots" have recently 
done.  Parodies of cliches would work well too. e.g.: during a 
chase sequence, have the cars go through ten or twelve fruit 
carts in a row (or panes of glass being carried across the 
street, or both). The first couple they would react to, but after 
that they would be bored by them.

There would be a couple of Monkee romps set to new music, as well 
as a ballad over a "romantic" scene (probably w/Davy and the 
detective).

The other three Monkees could each make passes at the detective, 
who would be completely disinterested.  Of course, other women 
would always be throwing themselves at Davy too, even being 
dragged along as they cling to his leg, getting in the way of the 
action.

The detective turns out to be Glick's evil assistant.  Glick 
should be played by a character actor who does great "over the 
top" maniacs (Martin Landau has the best evil smile in the 
business).

At some point Glick captures them all and ties them up on some 
evil, silly James Bondian type device to kill them.  He asks, 
"You'd like me to tell you my plan... wouldn't you!"  They all 
shake their heads 'no' and say, "Not really..."  Glick: "Yes you 
do!"  Monkees (completely disinterested): "No... really."  Glick 
(fed up): "Well I'm going to tell you anyway!"  As he does, 
they're falling asleep, doing "cat's cradle" etc.  (WARNING: PLOT 
HOLE - There is no central threat yet!) 

Of course our heroes escape and Blow up Glick's evil device and 
Glick with it.  The "detective" is captured.  Mike, Micky and 
Peter are covered with soot and debris.  Davy walks out, perfect, 
dusting his shoulder off with a little whisk broom.  The others 
(flabbergasted): "But... how..."  Davy: "I have better writers!"  
Micky: "So that's why he gets all the girls!"

Cut to exterior of a concert venue.  Screaming fans are lined up 
on either side as The Monkees run up the red carpet into the 
theater.  Cut to the interior where the lights on the stage come 
up and The Monkees play a live number.  During this is a montage 
of them getting keys to the city, then the state, then the U.S., 
then Earth, then the Milky Way (delivered by friendly football 
headed aliens), all accompanied by "spinning newspaper 
headlines". As the song ends and the screen goes black, you hear 
Glick laughing maniacally.

Roll credits over end music - maybe a "Monkee Rap".  "Hey Hey" 
from the TV theme is scratched, loud drum beat, then you hear 
Peter yell, "Yeeeeeeaaaaaaa Boooooooyyyyy!"  Mike does the 
rappin'.  In the middle of the rap, you hear a banjo solo, Micky 
says, "What was that?"  Peter: "A banjo!  Everybody loves a 
banjo!"  Mike: "Excuse me, I'm tryin' to rap here..."

Fin.

Well, I'm tired of typing, which is just as well since you're 
probably tired of reading.  But I got inspired, I guess, and 
wrote all of this very rapidly, and thought I should put it to 
paper before I forgot it all.

Feel free to add to it.  Maybe Rhino's listening somewhere out 
there...

GoshMizer