Bob C. conjectures: > Suppose for a moment that the Monkees had never been formed, or that > some other guys had been chosen. How do you think things would have > turned out for our faves today? MEMO: TO : Zord Dorfstrum, Imperial Controller, Time Variance Authority FROM: Yvad Senoj, Assistant Implementer, Correction Reconciliation Cmte. DATE: 6437:05.10//23:16:99 RE : Mid-20th Century Earth Correction; Advice Required We have finally uncovered the source of the on-going turbulence detected in the mid-2oth century Earth timestream. Involved are four individuals who, together as a group, should have had a major impact on the popular culture at the time, but due to a temporary glitch in the Continuity Assurance Calculation And Program Orientation Object (CACAPOO), never came together. Involved are one David Jones, one Mick3y Dolenz (unconv. sp.), one Michael Nesmith and one Peter Tork (see attached ID keys, Nes. incompl.). In the mid-1960s, the four were in the location known as the United States of America, mostly centered around a sub-location known as Cali4nia (see attached Disaster Conjecture record). What should have happened: These four come together as pawns of entertainment producers who broadcast their likenesses through a medium known as "television" to other Americans. Their voices are recorded on top of produced music encoded on soft vinyl discs which Americans can decode. The four are called Monkees, an apparent reference to their Darwinian heritage. After 2 encoded releases, turmoil develops and the 4 produce their own music, led by Nesmith. A feature video (encoded on celluloid) is generated, but primarily ignored by most Americans (Hist. note: Had this happened, it would have given us some of the best clues as to what life was like in those times). Tork segregates himself from the others after a brief time, yet the others continue encoded releases under the group name. Nesmith later segregates himself as well, losing most of his personal wealth (see att. Pecuniary Cultures ref.), and Dolenz and Jones encode one more vinyl disc as Monkees before completing segregation. Soon after, Nesmith replenishes his personal wealth via inheritance (see. att. art. Preferred Pecuniary Strategies) The four continue entertainment careers but are mostly ignored by most of their fellow Americans (and the rest of Earth) until the mid-1980s, when an organization known as MTV (see att. essay on Failed Experiments and Their Hypnotic Value) brought all but Nesmith back to the group appellation, where they experience a resurgence of acceptance and issue more encoded releases on various digital media. The group goes their separate ways once again, until their tremendous resurgence as a foursome in the mid-1990's, a 30-"year" regrouping resulting in more encoded releases and a new celluloid venture, the success of which was unsurpassed until the appearance of the HydroWorms many "years" later. Unfortunately, due to the CACAPOO error, this alternate timeline never occurred. What did happen: The four did interview with producers in mid-1960's Cali4nia, but were never hired. Four others were hired, 2 male actors, and a male and female musician, and a preliminary broadcast was prepared, but the musical concept was scrapped after the producers discovered that none of the group could sing (they had actually hired 3 drummers and a bass player). These names are lost to history, as the broadcast failed to capture other Americans' attention, but legend has it that the two musicians were named Archie and Josie. The producers later had a hit and were saved from obscurity with a family (see att. def. Nuclear Derivatives) show called the Brady Gang, about a pair of kids who have 3 sets of parents (each!... see att. ref. Obsolete Concepts In Breeding). David Jones: Argued with Tork during interview process after Tork dropped banjo on the toe of his elevator shoes. Passed over by producers after he was unable to produce music on the banjo (which he picked up). Returned to Broadway to some success in Oh! Calcutta!, but forced to abondon theatre after posterior infection complications caused by splinters. Made guest appearance on Brady Gang as one of the father's "friends", but really came into his own as the star of a 1970's broadcast called Fantasy Island (played the part of Klaatu). In 1980s became spokesmodel for Revlon and Gilette simultaneously, pushing hair and beard products. Performed duet with another David Jones for World Hunger (see att. ref. Political Population Controls) concert "Live Band Aid" (see att. ref. Tears For Fears: The Band Who Broke Up For One Day And Missed The Event Of The Decade). Finished out his later years selling Red Maracas over Earth-wide broadcast media. Peter Tork: Argued with Jones during interview with producers and was judged too radical for the show after calling Jones a "subversive limey". Frustrated by the loss of what he perceived as his big chance, Tork went into seclusion with the religious leader known as Maharashi Myhash Yogurt, but left disgruntled a few years later when the swami signed a licensing deal with the Dannon Corporation. Upon re-emergence, Tork teamed with a dark-haired gypsy queen to host the "Peter and Cher Show", finally making it big in show business. Noted for his trademark insults about certain biological features of his partner. After splitting from this partnership, Tork catapulted to further fame as mayor of Carmel, now known as "the singing politician" and running on a platform of "a banjo in every hand" and "free beer for all". Appointed ambassador to the USSR, Tork resigned in digrace after accidently "ralphing" (unk.) in an official's lap. Tork then married his former partner Cher and had 17 children, all of whom had musical ability (see att. ref. Children With Middle Name FRODIS). Last notable achievement: Author of "Tork's Cookbook of Russian Specialty Dishes". Of his early brush with fame, Tork said "I probably would have quit anyway". Mick3y Dolenz: Dolenz was a finalist in the interview process with the producers, but made the fatal mistake of demanding to be fairly paid for his work. Labelled by incensed producers as a troublemaker, Dolenz panhandled on the Sunset Strip before hooking up with a band who became known as The Doors. Dolenz reportedly was posessed by the spirit of a dying indian during this period, and was responsible for creating well-known encoded releases such as Cigar-Store Blues And Greens and Light My Cigar. After the demise of the Doors (caused by amazingly persistent rumors of Dolenz' death), Mick3y served as MC at the first hunger festival, called FoodStock. Later he teamed up with former keyboardist Ray Man-Thing to create a memorable collection of "children's" (see Obsolete Concepts In Breeding) lullabies, such as "One Little, Two Little, Three Little Indian Spirits". Dolenz married 3 times (no divorces, old Indian custom) and spent his later years quietly creating paintings of young women in the nude. Passed on his wealth (see att. ref. Materialism And Hedonism: The Missing Link) made from Hair Straightening Products (see att. treatise Obsolete Concepts: Hair On Men) to his "children". Most recognizable feature: Tattoo of TeePee on buttocks (see ref. Obsolete Concepts: Buttocks). Michael Nesmith: Nesmith blew his chance with the producers when he was judged during his interview to have too much musical talent (see ref. Obsolete Concepts: Talent). Went on to form other groups such as First National Band and Michael Nesmith and the Hellcasters. Retained a small but dedicated following for the rest of his artistic career, which included encoded releases on vinyl and digital formats, celluloid and broadcast medium creations, and strings of characters known as "literature". Inherited a fortune from his "mother" (see att. ref. Liquid Paper: An Oxymoron? research incompl.) and freed himself from commercial concerns, focusing instead on artistic integrity and expression. Remained creative all his life and passed his talent onto his "children". Most famous quote: "That could have been your hat, mother-father!" (Research pending). Your thoughts on how this situation could be corrected would be greatly appreciated. We need to act quickly, though. The next aberration is due within the coming quadrinuet, and the last one took us 2 bisinues to recover from, what with "MONKEES" flashing all over the monitors in swirling colors. TVA Transaction Code: MONKEES-R-NO-1